To Lose You

The ocean seems peaceful today. With the sun shining bright in this warm summer weather. Even the sand feels good under my hands and feet. Everyone around me seems to be enjoying themselves. I should be doing the same.

I should be dipping my toes in the water or enjoying an ice-cream sundae at one of the restaurants, while I read my favourite book. There are so many things I could be doing, but the only thing that seems to be compelling me is the urge to sit on this hot sand and reminisce. Reminisce about the experiences I once had.

Experiences I should still be having but were ripped from my hands so swiftly that it took me so long to grasp what had happened. The crumpled piece of paper in my hand is the only thing that seems to connect me to it all.

“I miss you. I miss you every single day that goes by, but it seems the only thing I can do is patiently wait for you to pick up your phone, while I hum to the phone's tune. It never happens though, you never do pick up, I don’t expect you to. The pain in my heart isn’t getting any better. Especially on days like these. Bright sunny days spent by the beach were your favourite.

I can still hear you laughing while we chased each other in the water. Feel your breath on my neck from your sighing when you pulled me closer to your embrace, as the weather turned cold. I remember those small things, those insignificant little memories that make me wish you were sitting right next to me. Your head on my shoulder when you would tell me the most absurd of stories. 

I miss looking at you, I miss your brown eyes, brown skin, curly hair, and small smile. Above all else, what I do miss the most is being able to enjoy beautiful sunny days like this one.”

 This letter is the only reason I'm at this beach in the first place.